We are women standing on solid ground
cultivated by our mothers, grandmothers
and great-grandmothers and all the women
who have gone before us
and paved the way.
Women As Allies realizes that in order to bring about change that we must be the instruments of that change. We believe that through the reverence
for all women, we take responsibility for the problems that impact us, form relationships that are supportive and life affirming, make private and public choices for ourselves, and place trust in our abilities to change what hurts us.
Through sharing our experiences we uncover the illusions that we
carry about ourselves and others.
Our position as women must be justice for all women, but the words “all women” must include and recognize women and girls of Color our concerns, our experiences,
and our history.
Women have the ability to be compassionate individuals, to understand the cycles of life, to be mothering and to attend to home and hearth, but we must embrace our fears. Our growth and understanding as women depends on it.
In opening our hearts, possibilities emerge. We open to the mystery, beauty and abundance that can be found in ourselves and others. This can be a crossroad for decision-making and change.
Change is a frightening yet powerful word. We go through many changes involving our emotions, thoughts and actions, yet we forget to honor the process. Patience without blame or judgment can be a very healing process.
Our relationships with each other instead of being ones of gentle power are sometimes destructive and self-serving. We can accomplished much when
we are no longer willing to be victims or to victimize.
If women are to work together on issues that concern us we must form relationships where we show respect for each other. One important ingredient needed in forming a relationship of respect is trust.
When we find ourselves in situations that ask us to step outside the norm, to be uncomfortable and to take responsibility for that uncomfortableness without guilt, blame or judgment of self or another is an opportunity to open our hearts and minds.
In telling our stories we become more conscious. We establish relationships with our past and present that are more open and accepting. Through telling our stories we learn about the experiences, concerns and cultures of another. We form relationships with each other that seek to understand our commonalties and our differences.
The question we must ask is, “How do we form quality relationships with ourselves that are replicated in relationships with others; our families, our organizations, our associations, our churches, our schools, our careers and our communities?”
As women and girls we carry the seeds of the past, present and future. What will be the cost to us if we ignore through fear, jealousy, ignorance, criticism, and misunderstanding the tears and sorrows of each other? If we deny our connections to each other and kill the spirit that we each bring from all the corners of the world, what will be the cost to us, to our children, to our men and to our lives?
Overcoming barriers that separate us is achieved through remembering who we are,
where we came from, and where we are going.
We know
Women know the way. We know how to care for each other. We know how to not allow another to fall. We know how to look behind and ahead for each other. We know how to ensure that none of us are left behind. We know how to hold hands and trust. We know how to look into each other’s eyes and find a way through our fears, tears, losses and pain. We know how to leave blame, judgment and competitiveness behind. We know how to touch the deepest love and the deepest wound. We know how to use love and hope. We know how to be the lights in our homes when fear appears. We know how to value the beauty in all things.
Let us not be afraid to walk together although the road can be long, dusty and paved with many detours. Let us not be distracted by the pebbles and stones that can trip us up along the way. Let us remember to learn each other’s stories and promise never to forget. Let us remember the courage and strength of our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers. Let us not be afraid of each other. We know each other, and we know how to move beyond our fears. We have taken this journey before.
Commentary
Assumptions, Stereotypes, Myths
We don’t acknowledge our own fears around issues of racism, sexism or homophobia, but it comes out in our interactions with each other in the workplace, in our schools, in our churches, in our organizations, in our communities and in our families.
Racism among women is alive and well, but we are not talking about it, and I believe we must talk about if we are to work together on changing stereotypes, myths, assumptions and misinformation about each other in this country and beyond.
If women and girls of Color and women and girls of European decent are to work together we must have a sense of each other’s history, experiences, concerns and challenges. And how the intersections of poverty, racism, oppression, privilege and violence impact each of our lives. And how we perpetuate this abuse against each other through denial, disrespect, not listening, interrupting, silencing, blaming, exclusion, controlling and scapegoating.
Our work as women must be to build honest, trusting and inclusive relationships with each other, in order to work together on issues of mutual concern. Building these relationships really does matter, and the importance must not be rationalized away.
Copyright © 1996-2007 Women As Allies
